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Selfish

I once told someone I was selfish. I called myself selfish, my immediate thought was “I’m selfish” and I don’t know why I said it. I pride myself so much on my honesty and integrity. Everyone is sometimes selfish even if they pride themselves on being selfless.

I guess it really depends on your person as to what defines you. I am a selfish person, I love my time alone, my me time and when I find a guy all I want is to spend my ‘me time’ with them. But sometimes people don’t view it the same way as me. If you like someone that much and they reciprocate those exact feelings (or at least I hope so), would you not yearn to feel wanted? Are you so selfish yourself that you don’t want someone to want you? It’s played on my mind a lot lately, how selfish am I?

Well look, I have no clue. All I know is I’m young and of course I’m still waiting for that one special guy, but I feel like I might have blown away any opportunity with someone that could be a potential special guy.

Everyone is selfish and selfless, it really does depend on your person. Over the last few years, I’ve had my odd flings and relationships, but I’ve somehow always mentioned my want to adopt a child. I want to adopt a child one day, I want to make a difference in that child’s life and let them have the opportunity they never would have had. I want them to grow up strong and happy and for them to have the opportunity to go back and visit their biological family, and maybe help them make a change in their own lives. I never told you this because I didn’t think you’d want to hear it, you were so adamant you would have three of four of your on children one day.

You cannot call me selfish nor can you label me selfish when you barely know me yourself. I called myself selfish because at the time, I was. But am I really selfish? Have I proven to be selfish these past few months? Sometimes you have to be selfish to get what you want. Sometimes I think my notion of winning over someone’s heart is maybe too selfish. I hope you get a chance to read this.

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