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There’s always one person in your life that seems to always be picking up after you, when you’re young your parents or older sisters clean up after you create a pig-sty. As you get older, I’ve found that there are some girls who seem to have volunteered their time to clean up after me.

Firstly, I do not judge you. However, you’ve developed a “close” relationship with four of my previous males. FOUR. But I’ve begun thinking they just like the taste of cake, you know, the one baked on your face.

Well to be honest, I know for a fact one of these males wasn’t even a sloppy second yet! You tried to get with him whilst we were still together. I know you made a move and I know quite well that you were denied your pleasure.

It’s comforting to know my past have someone to turn to. But I also know for a fact you’ll never meet any new males in my life since you’ll probably try something on them or you’ll end up with them and they’ll stick around longer!

I mean, I’ve lost a lot of friendships over guys and to be honest, yours isn’t all that big a loss. So I’ve had like seven boyfriends in the past nine years or something, so far, five of them have found themselves comfort amongst my so-called friends.

So, my glorious “friends” – keep baking that cake on your face because my guys love it!

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