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Fuckboy

I once read a post on Tumblr (which you’ll find below) and it was the most detailed response as to what a fuckboy is. Now I had no idea how many fuckboys actually existed and well, it turns out 99.5% of them reside on Tinder, which isn’t at all that surprising.

So recently I fell for the fuckboy trap and as much as I hate to admit it, they’re literally all loopy in the head! Anyway, this male that I refer to was a cold-hearted asshole that pulled a Kanye West and it was just him in his own little world. So this Kanye-Wannabe dropped me like a bad smell when I announced I was done – deleted me on Snapchat and erased my number.

Fine by me.

So a few months have passed since this terrible human left my life, and then surprised me last night with a message on Facebook, since he deleted everything else. Yet my name still stuck in his head…

But guess what, he was hoping I had got over my bitchy self to give him another shot. He then continued to call me immature for declining him and then accused me of assuming that just because I won’t have sex with him that he won’t talk to me. Okay so fact of the matter is, he did in fact stop speaking to me and cracked the poops because I wouldn’t sleep with him so it was more truth than an accusation – yet he calls me immature…

Also he had a lot of trouble comprehending the following words; goodnight, goodbye, adios, stop, no, and bye – because they all mean exactly how they’re all defined in pretty much any dictionary. Yet you continued to pursue a conversation I was attempting to end several times.

Just a quick note to all you stupid people dumb enough to be labelled as a fuckboy – don’t mess with a cold-hearted bitch like myself. Every unimportant word you speak will in fact come back to haunt you like this particular male witnessed last night – even if it was 11pm and my brain was totally asleep. See the following example;

Fuckboy: “Pretty sure you didn’t want to know me anymore the last time we spoke.”

Me: “Probably a good call by my past self now. Goodbye.”

Twenty minutes later, he finally got the hint.

So yet again, another male I have had to block on Facebook. Guys, I do not want your attention nor do I want your shit. You – as a collective – are actually almost as bad as a two-faced bitch. You don’t comprehend simple words, you struggle to make sense and you throw the most unimportant arguments back at me.

So I leave this post with a few hints of advice;

  1. Get a dictionary and learn the definitions of the following; no, goodbye and stop.
  2. Maybe learn how to debate.
  3. Learn to think and speak with your brain instead of that pint-sized penis of yours.

What is a fuck boy?

Answered by: Matt Joseph Diaz

A fuckboy is a weakass dude who ain’t shit.

A fuckboy is the guy who will go around calling women “thirsty hoes” but like 30 profile pictures in a row and comment “hot” under one of them because he thinks somehow it’ll get him laid.

A fuckboy is the guy who calls girls sluts but goes around begging chicks for nudes out of fucking nowhere.

A fuckboy is the guy who sends unrequested dick pics with no context to women he’s barely spoken to.

A fuckboy is a guy who regularly uses phrases like “bros before hoes”

A fuckboy is a guy whose idea of flirting is; “What would you do if I was there right now lol”

A fuckboy can often be spotted by his asking if you want to play “the 21 questions game” which is a trap to ask if you’re a virgin or not

A fuckboy is a guy who will call you a prude if you don’t want to fuck anyone, but call you a slut if you want to fuck someone who isn’t him.

A fuckboy is a guy who will disrespect you and try to get with you in the same breath.

A fuckboy is a guy whose idea of foreplay is kind of touching your clit twice before he tries to move on to sex

A fuckboy is a guy who tries to text you even when he already has a girl

A fuckboy is a guy who continues to hit on you even when you’ve said no

A fuckboy is a guy who pretend to invite you over for “Netflix and pizza” which is a bummer because it’s totally ruined legitimately inviting people over for Netflix and pizza

A fuckboy is any guy who’s ever told you “smile, beautiful” while you’re just walking down the street minding your own fucking business

A fuckboy is the kind of guy you have to lie about having a boyfriend to in order to get him to leave you alone.

A fuckboy is a guy who will tell you “you’re not like the other girls” like that’s a compliment because he doesn’t have any respect for them.

A fuckboy is a guy who will tell you “my exes were all crazy” even though you know them to be totally fine, kind, measured people.

A fuckboy is a guy who will tell you “guys don’t like it when you -bullshit bullshit bullshit-” and try to shame you because of your weight, hair, style, use of makeup or anything else that you do in order to express yourself because in their tiny fuckboy minds you only exist to attract them.

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