When it comes to relationships there’s a comfortable stage, I’m sure it happens to all. This comfortable stage is different for all. From experience, this comfort stage was welcomed with the good ol’ fart – not from me of course! But it does happen, and it is different for everyone. I know there are couples that keep the chivalry alive and farting is forbidden in front of each other – each to their own.
However I believe there are some people who settle. They settle for less than they deserve, they settle because they do not have the confidence to seek higher. They settle because it’s convenient.
Settling because it’s convenient has to be the worst thing you could do. EVER.
It will ruin your life and what’s worse is that it’s a choice that you have. It’s not an arranged marriage but a choice you’ve chosen to live with despite the disapproval you have from your own family.
I understand not having the approval of the minority of your family members – I’ve been there, done that. But disapproval from the entire family, including your grandparents. That, I feel is somewhat selfish. It’s not like you’ve run away with her, you’re still living under the same roof as everyone that despises her!
You’re convenient for her because you take care of her, you drive her around and you let her escape her own family. But does she take care of you? Does she let you go out with your friends? Will she pick you up at 3am in the morning? Is she holding you back from your passion, your love and your studies?
She is privileged within her family household as I witnessed. She has breakfast cooked for her and she simply leaves the table once she is full without cleaning her plate or excusing herself. She is a child with no personal skills to be able to actually care for you other than to kiss it better. She cannot cook, she cannot clean and she thinks you parents will cook her breakfast in the morning. Surely you can see that your future with her is very slim if you think you could potentially marry her.
She lacks independence and she has no voice on anything except performing arts. She will not challenge you and she will not make you better as a person. You’ve been together for close to three years or something and you’re not both twenty-one, yet she still doesn’t have a drivers licence, her dream is still to become an actress and her social skills astound me.
She has been a part of your family for three whole years but she still shakes hands goodbye with people, she apologises for laughing and she sits in the corner watching a video on her phone when there is a room full of people. She loathes clubbing but mustered the courage to go out, but when you said you weren’t going anymore, she crumbled exclaiming that she had just got all dressed up to go out – not a single change of outfit as before, not a single spec of make-up nor a single adjustment to her long untidy hair.
Her effort levels are below your own. She whinges, she whines and she lacks every domestic skill possible. We all hate washing clothes and doing the dishes but we know how to do them. I’m still struggling to comprehend how she is unable to do anything besides continue to hide in her shell without you by her side, and even then, she barely peeps outside of her shell.
You are comfortable with her, I understand.
But you have settled for less just because for now, it’s convenient.
Learn the difference between convenient and comfortable before it does in fact ruin you and your future.