Well, it’s been something like 48 hours since I re-joined Tinder. I’ve swiped left and right and there are quite a few glorious conversations so far. Part of me opted back in for the sake of my entertaining blog posts, the other half just waited until I finished my three-week break to prove to a pal that I could resist the urge to swipe.
So whilst I sit here drinking my Pressed Juice, I’ll just share my thoughts on Tinder at this moment in time…
Firstly, I really don’t care much anymore. I’ve put too much time and effort into shit people who are nothing but well, shit. It bothers me that so many people still don’t lay their intentions on the table like a deck of tarot cards. It’s really not that hard fellas. But then again I was speaking to some guy yesterday that quite literally just wanted me in his bed, which is the completely different end of the scale.
Not my thing.
Secondly, people on holidays or business trips to Victoria. These people are nothing but a booty call and I am removing all of you from my short list of matches. I’m not going to use my valuable internet data talking to someone I will most likely, never meet. BE GONE!
Number three is simply your own personal preference and situation but I have a pal who loves to gawk over attractive females. This pal has no drivers licence or car, but will complain about the effort he puts in to catch public transport to meet a girl. People, in your settings on Tinder you can set the distance to something more local to you. Got it, get it? Good.
Four; ask for a nude and you can find yourself buried deep in a grave and I’ll probably use you as fabulous muse for a blog post.
Cinque (fancy right?); I vow to never swipe you right if you have a clubbing photo of you stashed away in amongst the few you can put up for viewing. We don’t live on the same planet.
Six, get rid of that pedo mo! What is with guys and pedophilic looking facial hair? Some guys suit it, others don’t. Trend or no trend, you’re unattractive. Also, if any part of your facial hair grows patchy then you should just go all baby-faced and get rid of it. It’s so sketchy!
Seven, the only person I’m “chillin’ with Netflix” with is myself (for now). We all know what happens when you mix Tinder, Netflix and chills – sex. Not going to lie, sex is fab. But casual sex doesn’t really appeal to me like a seafood platter does.
Now, I think I’ve finished babbling.
So good day my fellow readers!