What is it like to be caught in a relationship of some sort when it slowly dissolves into a one way street?
My mother always told me that relationships are a two-way street, between friends and between partners – and she was right. Back in high school you don’t realise as much as you do once you hit the real world. I had such close friends back in high school – or at least during my senior years. But once we graduated, our friendship became one way.
I excelled upon graduating from high school. I had a job lined up, I had my licence and a car and I had more or less a social life. But my friends all had other plans and those included organising plans with me purely to drive them from a to b without even a hint of thanks. It became clear that they just used me as a “cheap form of transport” but never thought to shout me a meal or coffee when we went out. It was then that I decided to cut ties.
Cutting ties isn’t all that hard for me, I think my tough persona that I have come to live with has had a major impact on how I interact people. I don’t have the patience for one way streets or bullshit. So when someone makes me unhappy over a period of time, it’s not good for me and either you fix it or at least try to or you end it. That seems to be how I work, or so it seems.
So when a pal of mine gets cut over a few past dates of his not rocking up to his birthday drinks, the first thing I ask is “Why”? Why do you need a few girls that chose another guy over you? Why would you think those guys would let their girls come and have drinks with you? Why would you even waste your time and energy thinking about people who didn’t find you worthy of their time to begin with?
Just because you dated for a few weeks doesn’t mean that you were their one true bae. You don’t come before anything else my friend, they selected a different bae.
I understand cutting people isn’t easy for all but you’re drowning yourself in a toxic mess of hope and failure. Only they will know why they chose him over you but that’s up for you to ask.
Another friend of mine was opening dating two guys at once, they both knew there was another guy and they still agreed to go in the race for her heart. But upon making her decision, she still kept the other guy as a pal on Facebook. So he messaged her the other day and she had to reveal her choice but he persisted that they hang out. This guy has a plan to steal you back even though you have a bae? Cut him lose my friend, you don’t need the competition’s name popping up in your Newsfeed, do you?
I just don’t understand why do people keep toxic pals who you don’t need or want in your life around?
Spring clean people, Spring clean!