Skip to content

Brace Yourself

So although I may be exiting the online dating game, it doesn’t mean that my pals stopped turning to me for advice and help. I was once a serial swiper and a fish in the POF ocean, I came across many guys and either my friends had already been there and done that or I had beaten them to it.

As females, we send screenshots – a lot.

What human doesn’t send screenshots though?

When I matched with a professional Australian basketball player on Plenty of Fish I was totally like “HELL YEAH!” But of course he was a douchebag. But one of my closest pals crushed on him. So I did some research and threw her some bad news. So that is the gist of what goes down in female conversations.

When my pal sent me a few print screens of a guy’s Tinder profile today, I immediately labelled him a fuckboy. Her reaction is one of a great pal, so much trust in this relationship. All she wanted to do was be a bitch to him. Amen to that woman!

Eventually it led to the ultimate kick in the testicles, you males bring it upon yourselves – you really do. Slowly as the conversation became more open for interpretation with questions, he totally got sucked in. I’m just going to type it out for you – make it interesting;


Guy: We’re in a bar or something. I see u across the room and I happen to be holding a bunch of sliced limes. I walk over to you, and drop all the limes. I keep trying to pick up the lime pieces but they just keep falling and I look very clumsy. Eventually you become interested enough to say “Are you good?” to which I reply: “Sorry, I’m not good at pickup limes.”

Girl: Well firstly I wouldn’t say if you are good, I would be like where’s the tequila for all those limes you had?

Guy: Hahaha just ignore my well-being

Girl: But the real question is why would you have all those limes if you didn’t work there haha

Guy: That’s a question that will never be answered haha

Girl: The your ‘pick up limes’ may not work

Guy: Maybe we should swap roles then

Girl: I’m a clumsy person anyways, so it may work haha

Guy: Hmm it might

Girl: So what will you say would work then?

Guy: I’m not sure. What do you think?

Girl: Well I’m not sure what you like?

Guy: I like booty

Girl: So you like taking it up the ass then?

Guy: No.


So other than the fact she slayed a fuckboy, it just goes to prove that males can’t take what they serve. If you’re going to say something nasty or something objectifying or simply of a fuckboy nature – at least have a better comeback to whatever you bring to the table, or you’ll just end up as the subject of a blog post like every other brainless fuckboy.

It’s not only males that can play this game anymore.

Brace yourself.

Note: I may have edited their grammar in the conversation – he was terrible!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: