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Pickup Lines

I’ve been pretty dormant lately – well from this blog anyway. I’ve been busy indulging in laughter and memory making. But this doesn’t mean I haven’t kept my nose in the dating scene. Of course I have my own relationship now, but my pals don’t and that means I still get all their print screens!

Just yesterday my pal sent me a screenshot of a conversation she had on Tinder;

Him: Hey bae, we would make a cute couple.

Her: Oh would we now?

Him: You are like my little toe.

Her: Please don’t tell me you have a foot fetish?

Him: No it’s because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my house.

Her: Really? Every piece?

Him: Every piece. I hope you’re up for it.

Her: You’re going to have to be up for it.

Of course I edited it a bit so it sounds a bit more well, English…

What happened to being original? We females hear these lines all the time and they’re old news! Be spontaneous and have a conversation then develop and series of puns from that conversation. Tinderfella’s, remember that you’re not the only guy throwing the same pickup lines around like they’re going out of fashion.

As for a story, well I once worked in a pub over summer and there was this one day I was constantly running back and forth from a table of guys out the back with a jug of beer. But it was hilarious, they made it hilarious. Every time I ventured out there to put another jug on the table, I received a pick up line from this one guy. Of course he was googling them, but they were different.

“Are you related to Osama Bin Laden? Because you blow me away.”

“My name is Doug, that’s God spelt backwards with a little bit of u in it.”

“Let’s play trains, you can be the engine and I’ll be the carriage and bang you from behind.”

Like be fun guys, you as a gender are so corny and forever on repeat that it’s a bore. Learn to google!

Make the print screens my pals send me laugh worthy – I dare you!

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