For years I have always used the term “Girl Code”, but I’ve only just come across this “Girl Code” definition on Urban Dictionary. But just quickly, the grammar and spelling was atrocious. I had to do a lot of editing and spell checking and it’s probably still disgusting. I’ve included this horrid body of text at the bottom of this post.
Basically, they are all the underlying rules every girl should abide within their friendship circle.
Back when relationships were still considered innocent at thirteen years of age, I had this boyfriend, my first ever boyfriend. We never kissed and the one time we hugged my Father literally chased him away. Probably the first and last time I ever saw my Father move faster than a tortoise. I didn’t even have a mobile phone at this age, so we would talk via MSN Messenger with our stupid wanna-be-cool email addresses and the good old trusty landline. However, after ten cute months of hugs we broke up, it was a truly sad time. However by the age of fourteen, I didn’t know any better and now I think of it, it was practically a relationship between my boyfriend and my entire friendship circle. I remember one of my friends mentioned that following the break up, she and another girl in our group made a pact that they wouldn’t date my ex-boyfriend because it was against the girl code. The next week, the other girl changed her MySpace bio, moved him into her top eight friends and updated her MSN personal message to announce her relationship with my ex followed by a few glorious love hearts.
At the age of fourteen, one of my best friends dated my ex-boyfriend. Needless to say, we were no longer friends after this point in time.
When I was fifteen, I caused a bit of a rift between my friendship circle when I began dating this guy. This one girl was adamant that she didn’t have feelings for him but began cold-shouldering me. Was I supposed to know that she would be too chicken to tell me the truth? Our friendship wasted away with her true feelings, being honest never killed anyone. Anyway, we dated for a few months and I ended it “to focus on exams”. He was heartbroken and found comfort in one of my closest friends to date, we were inseparable at the hips. We even hyphenated our names on Facebook so we could be sisters. As my sixteenth birthday rolled around, I had invited them both as individuals but they came together and gifted me as a couple. My fondest memory is of them making out in the corner of my backyard mid party. I am however on speaking terms with both of them until this very day.
So to say the least, the girl code is a piece of shit.
Furthermore, in the modern age of online dating with popular applications such as Tinder, does the girl code still come into effect? Personally I would think it would, but not according to one of my closest pals. She has taken two opportunities to swipe right to two of my ex-boyfriends and match with them. What really appalls me is that she doesn’t immediately unmatch them, instead she converses with them as if to say she needs them to know who she is. Like why the fuck are you even swiping them? Oh and she will send me a screenshot of the match and/or conversation – because I need it…
Someone should update the “Girl Code” guidelines on Urban Dictionary to include online dating applications and websites.
And this, my friends is a great reason as to why I have like a handful of close girlfriends and why it is very rare that I put both a male I have an interest in and my friends in the same pond. Because it scares the god damn shit out of me. Plus I have a friend who tries to justify her swiping tendencies on my ex boyfriends – YOU CANNOT JUSTIFY THAT.
What a piece of shit.
Girl Code; [Urban Dictionary]
The code of guidelines that are girls most obey in order not to get kicked out of the community.
There are many opinions if the Girl Code actually exists, as well as the Guy Code.
- If you change boyfriends so fast they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to as “The boy” or “That guy”.
- All girls must have a “Mr. Right Now”. This is the guy friend who is always ready and available to hang out with you, and may or may not like you as more than a friend. He is always ready to party till dawn, and do things you wish you didn’t remember in the morning. He’s not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.”
- If you just met a guy and know absolutely nothing about him, but need to refer to him during ‘girl talk’ you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes… that guy.
(Ex. “The Camaro guy”, “The Trainer dude”, “The Four a.m. in the Taxi Guy”)
- Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retrieved.
- You are never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into.
Exception: If he’s one of those guys who every girl likes.
- You are to never diss a friend’s boyfriend except to agree lightly or nod when she says he’s being an asshole. In most cases it is easier to nod.
Exception: If a guy cheated or dumped your friend it is exceptional for you to claim he isn’t good enough, and that she deserves better as well as reminding her that he was an asshole anyway.
- If you want to date a friend’s brother it is required that you get said friends permission.
- No girl is to ever hang out with the boyfriend of a friend without the friend present. If permission to is granted there should be at least 3 other people with you.
- No girl may have more than one ‘Love of her Life’ at one time, though having a boyfriend and a ‘Love of her Life’ is fine.
- No girl shall wear the same outfit or perfume as a friend is they will knowingly be in the same place.
- No girl shall purchase a distinctive item of clothing which she is aware her friend owns without express permission from the friend.
- No girl shall borrow an item of clothing without asking the clothing owner’s permission, unless both parties have made an official decision to waive this rule in the context of their friendship.
- An eye for an eye and a foot for a foot. If a friend borrows an item of clothing and destroys it, said friend must re-pay it.
- The penalty for exposing a secret to an unauthorized party shall be exile from Girlville.
- A girl who can substantially claim that she was not aware that a piece of information was a secret at the time she exposed it shall not be subject to punishment.
- Inside jokes are not to be explained to outsiders.
- Always leave a man wanting more but don’t leave him guessing too long since guys do not take hints easily.
- If a guy your friend is into asks for your number, you are to deny it and walk away, and/or slip him your friends number while saying, “I think she is more your type, you should call her”.
- Chicks before Dicks. Simple.
- In a case where a friend spreads a horrible rumour about a friend, and then apologizes they are to be given the cold-shoulder for at least 3 days.
- In a fight between a friend and her boyfriend you must always choose your friends side.
- When dating a girl should find equal and/or enough time to still hang out with her girls.
- Never insult your friend but never let your friend leave the house looking hideous. Find a better way to tell your friend how they look.
Ex: ‘I think your other jeans are nice’, ‘you should wear less eyeliner, and you have great eyes’
- When a friend is drunk, never allow her to dial, drive or leave with a random guy.
- When a friend calls you up complaining about how she is drunk and can’t go home you must allow her to stay at your house, without letting your parentals (if you live with them) find out.
- When out with the ladies, if Girl #1 points out a guy that she is interested in, Girl #2 should avoid making a bee-line over to him to get his number for herself. Show some respect.
- When said evening is described as a “Girls’ Night Out” that means it is for GIRLS ONLY. Consider it payback for all those tree houses and snow forts we couldn’t enter as children. Do not invite your boyfriend.
- Stop being the “Me too!” girl If your friend is telling a story, stop stealing her thunder – and her story – by constantly trying to one-up her. For example:
GIRL 1: I had a horrible day. My flat iron broke in the middle of straightening, I dropped my brand new bottle of Burberry Touch on the bathroom floor, I missed the bus by two seconds and was late for school, my teacher yelled at me for something Sally did, and I got into a fight with Jason over whose family we’re spending Thanksgiving with.
GIRL 2: Oh that’s horrible. The same thing happened to me today, only I stepped in gum on the subway platform too. And when I went to scrape it off, I tripped and ripped my stockings and it reminded me of the time I was at my ex-boyfriend’s place for Christmas…
- Be a responsible friend and not a ‘Yes-Girl’. If a friend is asking you if she should get back together with her ex who cheated on her, never wanted to hang out with her and then blamed her for them breaking up, and you say ‘Yes’, than you’re a bad friend. Friends are supposed to protect and help friends. SO say your part even if they don’t like what you have to say.
- Don’t be a hater. If a girl walks in looking gorgeous, girls automatically try to find something bad about her. But who knows? She could have just lose a friend, or got dumped, etc. So be nice and stop hating.
- Don’t go against the Girl Code.