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11 May 2016

It has been – according to my archives – seven months since my last ‘diary’ entry. I don’t really know why it is different to my diary entry as oppose to my normal spiel of jargon I produce. I guess it is a bit more real life me, if that even makes sense. It’s my immediate thoughts and feelings as oppose to an edited post with a thousand Urban Dictionary references.

Back in December, my friend and I ventured to Geelong to buy a DVD we had tracked down. It was the last one in Victoria and we were determined to obtain it. I’m not sure if obtain was a good word for that sentence, sounds more like a glimpse of a Pokémon video game, “You have obtained a potion”.  Anyway, we got the movie and we sat back to watch it upon returning home and we were in hysterics to realise we purchased the wrong version of the movie.

For months we had watched the trailers to this movie, Krampus, only to purchase the wrong one. We had a good chuckle over it.

Last week the movie we actually wanted to see was released and so my friend and I watched it just the other night. It was more or less a more grisly version of The Grinch, not that there was much gore – just sheer terror. More or less, a dozen of our favourite Christmas characters gone rogue. Like, I’m talking evil gingerbread men.

As a teenager I was always really paranoid about watching simple criminal television series. I would literally crawl into my bedroom so I was below window height where no one peaking in could see and I would stand up once I was behind the wall to wind my shutter down. Chicken mode!

So after watching a crazy Jack-in-the-box attack a family and a few gingerbread men at the helm of a nail gun, I thought I would just jump into bed and attempt to sleep. That is, until I felt something cold against my leg. I immediately flung my doona back only to find a huge ass beetle in my bed.

I don’t know how it got there, but fuck.

Not too long after, I bid it goodbye as I flushed it down the toilet.

So I’m not saying I don’t like a little terror in my life, but sometimes I just need someone to check for the bogeyman – or in my case, insects.

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