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Socially Awkward

I talk a lot.

Ask anyone.

But around Tinder guy, I’m a mouse.

I suck immensely at communication and affection, anyone would think I was a rookie in the game. I am socially awkward, I’ll admit that.

My opening lines to any guy are usually the worst, an observation about the scenery or something so dumb it just makes me blush and regret it immediately.

I think that I’m the tiniest bit intimidated by you, you have your shit sorted (compared to myself), and I’m going to open a conversation with “oh look the wall is painted white and there’s a ball of dust on the floor over there in the corner”. Real smooth.

I’m weird that way, a lot of the time I never make sense.

I have a very, very rocky past. As much as I am an open book, this blog has nothing on my life. I’ll never write of it completely, but I have referenced a few little bits here and there. My past is my way of opening my heart and I’m not ready for that just yet. But when I am, I’ll bring my box of tissues.

I’ll divert conversation to the topic of my family because I don’t know what to talk about. I prefer to answer questions, it tends to save me from sounding like a broken record. Maybe we can just sit in bed one day and turn our phones off and go all deep and meaningful with each other, lord knows I have questions for you. I just hope you’ll break into a spiel and just tell me what I want to know without me having to actually ask.

As for affection, I love hugs. My name doesn’t rhyme with bear for nothing. I just don’t know you, like what do you like? I would happily wrap my arms around you, anytime, anywhere. I had a dream the other night that you gave me a cooking lesson, although I woke up laughing, it was some serious bonding time and it opened the can of affection. God knows how much fun two can have in a kitchen. Wait until I cover you in cake mixture!

I don’t know why I’m talking of the future when I can’t even grow a pair and handle the present. A chunk of me wants to be more than just a bed hopper but I know a lot of that relies on me learning to fucking talk.

But trust me, you’ll be begging me to shut up once I start.

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