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Smitten

Usually you would consider a first date to happen with complimentary nerves and sweaty palms. Most of the time, in my experience, first dates are beyond awkward and I would rather shrivel up into a foetal position than awkwardly maintain conversation.

You can usually tell after a first date if you’d like to pursue something more or not. If I could find a guy on a first date that had a magical calming effect I’d probably just kidnap them then and there. I’ve begun thinking that maybe I’m extremely abnormal, in the sense that I have never ever been calmed by any male’s presence. My heart is just constantly racing as if I’m being chased by an axe murderer.

Anxious is my middle name.

So two of my friends, from two different social circles were set up by another mutual friend/relative just this past weekend. She described it as “eh”, and he compared it to a Cinderella Story. He’s currently slowly dying of heartbreak having not reciprocated mutual feelings but dude, it was one date. As for her, well I don’t know. All I know about females is that we usually have an idea in our head as to what we are looking for – a sense of direction, other times we are simply just swept off our feet.

I’ve always been under the impression that a relationship cannot occur between two alike people, however two similar people can ignite a spark. Can you imagine being in a relationship with someone nearly identical to yourself? I would probably piss myself off, a lot. I already kick myself when I send too many text messages in a row to any one male, I swear I don’t mean to come off as desperate or clingy!

Which is exactly what I do with Tinder guy, because for some reason all I want to do is message him but I’m complete chicken in front of him. Starstruck or what?

My Mother would describe it as being smitten, smitten for Tinder guy that is. What does smitten mean though? Well according to the fourth definition in Urban Dictionary (because I didn’t like the others), being smitten is described as; “More than like, but not quite love yet, it’s that feeling in between the two. That feeling of butterflies in your tummy. It’s that feeling that makes you smile whenever you think about that special person.

So the weeks have passed rather quickly, but Tinder guy is still just Tinder guy. He’s more than a friend with benefits but he’s not my boyfriend. We’re just two peas in a pod right now and it’s pretty chilled. Sure, I like him a smidge and there is no better feeling than being pulled into his arms upon waking up but I’m yet to discover if those feelings are mutual. I’m not entirely caught up in the idea of being his girlfriend, it’s just a label. It’s more or less the peer pressure I’m attracting from friends and Mother dearest that’s becoming pretty repetitive.

Are you and Tinder guy exclusive yet because you’re practically in a relationship?

Are you two official yet?

What is he to you?

It is, more or less, those three questions on repeat.

Are we in a relationship? Is that how other people see it? Am I missing something?

He’s just Tinder guy, he’s the only one that can change that pseudonym.

Namaste.

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