So it’s been a whole week since the Tinder game begun and God damn I’ve had my fair share of wants and needs. For example; “I want to hit a certain Tinder Social pal over the head for being so dumb” and “I need to meet this guy who can hold one decent conversation”. So how do you know when you want or need to do something? You simply endure Tinder as best you can.
To start the ball rolling, I needed to remove a Tinder match from my life due to his obsessive manner over me. Legit, he was telling me about this blog and asking me random as fuck questions like “What colour is your car?” Exactly what does it matter what colour my little buzz box of an automobile is? This guy was actually texting me every morning with “Good morning beautiful” and other similar really loving and affectionate messages as well as some curious George type of shit such as; When are we meeting? You’re so beautiful? What’s your family like? What’s for lunch? What’s for dinner? Do you regret giving me your number? Tell me about your dream wedding? What are you like as a person? Can we meet yet? What coffee do you drink? No I’m talking those messages and similar in like the space of 12 short hours. Way too much, way too soon. I needed to block him from my life.
Now this whole Tinder Social group chat is actually life, they should rename it to Tinder Banter because that’s what is has become – or maybe just what I make it out to be. Either way, yesterday I was having some epic banter session with some ballers from the end of the Western Ring Road and I was in a group with a single pal of mine who works under the same roof as me. Well, she got tired of the notifications and she unmatched the boys. She unmatched them mid banter, RUDE! So needless to say, that group was short-lived and I departed within moments of her rookie mistake. This is who I want to hit, I think it justifies itself.
Then there is the guy who can hold a dandy conversation but is still just a little coloured speech bubble that pops up on your screen. This is the guy I need to meet. I have a good feeling about this guy, his banter game is pretty strong. I’m going to become that chick who knows love as ‘banter at first sight’.
There is also this other guy, he talks one heck of a game – great personality and a shit ton of confidence. He’s just too short for my taste buds though, so he’s already friend-zoned himself but I have this feeling he wants to weave his way in still. But this is a guy that needed to put a sock in his mouth last night, similar to Kanye West – no chill. He had his balls busted and I had my phone spammed when he threw an Islamic Terrorist ‘joke’ at one of my girls. Put a god damn sock in it dude, that’s just rude and inconsiderate and fucking horrid. Who does that?
So guys, top tips from this week’s swipes;
- Learn what a creep is;
- Don’t do Tinder Social with rookies;
- Meet guys sooner rather than later; and
- Don’t fuck with terrorism.