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Scrollaxing [verb];

To scroll through all of your personal email and social media on your couch or bean bag at the end of a hard day. You find this to be an effective way to decompress or chill.

“I’ll be scrollaxing until 7:00, but I’ll meet you at the bar at 7:30.”

– Urban Dictionary

Finally, a word to describe the most time consuming part of my day!


But in amongst my leisurely scrollaxing habits, I’ve come to realise that there are just far too many idiotic humans in the world. Well, not so much realise but it bloody well reiterated that fact.

.. and now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting every so anxiously for – the proof that money cannot buy good hair…

Dear Donald Trump,

Why the fuck did you open your stupid fucking mouth and announce you’re running for president!?

You said “grab ‘em by the pussy” on tape and you still believe that women are nothing more than a piece of meat. How the fuck did you even earn the right to father your children? I don’t care how grown up they are, that is just horrific and gross.

I can just imagine show and tell as a female mini-Trump; “Hi, I’m Miss Trump and my dad likes to grab girls by the pussy“. YASSSS DONALD, YAS!

Whilst I have already read that one of your beloved supporters wrote you an epic letter with their pubic hair taped to the page with “Dear Mr. Trump, I’m not able to mail you my actual pussy, so I’ve included the next best thing. Cheers, Emily.” I’d like to reiterate a scene from Bring It On; all or nothing click this link! Now Donald, I can be pretty damn certain that most females world wide would much rather grab your balls, twist them, squeeze them and probably even cut them off because you are everything the entire world is trying not to be.

Now that might be a bit of an exaggeration since there are still a few places and religions that deem women a piece of meat. What I do not comprehend Donald, is why – as a a member of the western community – are you trying to dismember an already unfinished puzzle in which we know as equality? The big umbrella of equality covers so many things and so many people can most certainly relate to any form of equality and then you go and shove a ton of sexist bullshit around as if to belittle half of your own female dominated family. Man, I feel sorry for every female Trump for having to dye your hair prematurely to hide the grey hairs your father or husband gives you as you scribe away at night trying to defend his narcissistic comments. Not to mention that you have pledged to repeal the LGBT rights – Donald, please don’t be a Tony Abbot. Tony Abbot’s very own sister is gay and he still wouldn’t even bring LGBT rights to the table of parliament in Australia! Be logical about this Donald, if the Pope can build his bridge over the LGBT community then so can you – or you may as well just chop your balls off and dispose of them since you wouldn’t be considered a real man if you repeal those rights!

Futher to that notion though, you know how people tell us to watch what we put on social media because it can reflect badly in a prospective career in whatever floats your boat? Well I say, if Donald can get to where he is after all he has said, then it should just be illegal for employers to discriminate and decline opportunities based on a persons social media status – just saying.

I understand that you’re a business man Donald, but maybe you should stick to business. Politics is a bit of a stretch and you should definitely make the Guinness World Record Book for the most bullshit ever spun. Also,  I read that you were totally for bearing arms. Following the Orlando Massacre you did an interview and what you said just blew me away; “If you had guns in that room, even if you had a number of people having ‘em strapped to their ankle or strapped to their waist where bullets could have flown in the other direction right at him, you wouldn’t have had the same kind of a tragedy”.


Lately, there have been far too many deaths in America that have made the news headlines. People die every second and that’s the way of life, but if there are constantly news headlines about shootings in America – how the fuck does that look to the world? Coloured people have been innocently shot dead and you think that if they carried guns then they may have survived only to be jailed for the death of a police officer?


Now, can y’all please let me scrollax in peace – especially you Mr. Trump. Just fuck off.

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