I’m currently lying in bed with a packet of Tim Tams that I’ve managed to keep safe from the vulturous family members in which I reside with. Just now, my iPad factory reset itself and I’m patiently awaiting the completion of the tedious app downloading. I opted to restore my latest back up with it being only two days old, but then had a severe face palm moment when I realised my lecture notes from today have in fact, left me high and dry.
I’ve well asserted myself as an over thinker during the lifetime of this significant story in which I constantly fail to update. It’s been a while since I spent a handful of hours overthinking and I honestly wish I could simply just turn it off.
Today, I literally spammed the inbox of this guy I’m seeing (I suppose you could call it that, I think it’s too early to provide a specific label). The content of the spam will remain private, but my thoughts were horrifically personal and it’s just such a typical move on my behalf. I share my thoughts and it’s obviously my worst trait, I have no ability to dwell on my thoughts, but rather I detail them to the entire world.
For the past 4 years, I have never technically been in a relationship. I’ve gathered quite the track record on the Tinder scene and I’ve also known myself to ruin absolutely everything because of my foot and mouth disease. My thoughts devour me, I can’t maintain it in a bottle like others can – it has to come out! Apparently, as per my history with men, my thoughts were never meant to be spoken of. No one male wants to deal with my shit and listen to my thoughts, it makes me far too complicated and high maintenance, I suppose.
There’s a huge part of me that’s scarily nervous as to how this guy I’m seeing will respond. I’m almost positive that it won’t scare him off into the distance, but there’s a smidge of me that just can’t forget my previous track record with men. Bad habit, that’s what you call it.
It’s just a horrific Monday to say the least, there’s just too much on my mind to process at this present time and it’s killing my pour soul. Like, I just want all of my lecture notes back!